Choices

23 Jul

Looking up

Friday morning, my father-in-law made the choice to end his battle with cancer.  My sister-in-law called Hospice and they moved quickly.  By the time I got there on Friday afternoon, a Hospice nurse had been there to talk to my husband, his sister, mother, and his aunt at length.   Within a couple of hours, a hospital bed was delivered, drugs to keep him comfortable were on hand, and he was settled and sleeping fairly peacefully.

Saturday was our bi-monthly Crafty Chix day.  My mother, sister, mother-in-law, sister-in-law and I get together and do something crafty and fun.  We eat good food, we talk good talk, and we create good stuff. We went ahead and did it at my mother-in-law’s house anyway.  My wonderful step-father took ALL the grandkids to the Boardwalk (amusement park at the beach).  Greg worked in the dining room all day.  My father-in-law lay in the living room in a morphine-enhanced sleep listening to the sound of laughter and love all around him.  We went home late on Saturday night to sleep.  My sister-in-law stayed with her mother and father.

She called at a little after 6am to let us know that his breathing was labored and hospice thought it might be soon.  Greg hurried over and I stayed with my parents and kids.  Greg called me just after 7 to let me know that it was over.

My father-in-law was a good man.   He was loved and he is missed.  But, thankfully, his suffering is over and the choices he made about how to end his life were honored.

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12 Responses to “Choices”

  1. Mary 23 July, 2007 at 9:37 am #

    Dear Liza Lee,

    Somehow I was surprised by your last paragraph. I’m glad he didn’t suffer endlessly, Liza Lee. He is blessed and God gave him the opportunity to hear and to be near his loved ones all around him on his last Saturday night.

    I am so sorry, though. My prayers and thoughts go to all of you.

    Consider yourself hugged – big hugs.

  2. jayne 23 July, 2007 at 12:52 pm #

    Oh (((((Liza))))))… may light perpetual surround him as he dances with the angels. So glad he was in control and able to end his time here on earth with dignity, surrounded by those who love him. My prayers are with you, Greg, and the entire family.

  3. Lynne at Hasty Brook 23 July, 2007 at 1:18 pm #

    Dear Liza,
    I feel my words are inadequate. I too am glad his suffering was limited in time. That you all were able to give him such a loving day at home is a gift for you all as well as for Greg’s Dad. You and Greg and the family are in my prayers.

  4. KGMom 23 July, 2007 at 6:03 pm #

    It is hard when you lose a parent. But you gave him such a wonderful gift–that he could decide his own time, that he was surrounded by family. Just that gift alone may help your grieving.

  5. Laura 23 July, 2007 at 6:32 pm #

    Sorry for your family’s loss, Liza.

    The hospice people are really an amazing bunch of kind souls, I think. When that decision is made, after a long fight, I think there’s such a feeling of peace and purpose in everything that takes place – a blessing, really, if you’re able to attend to it.

  6. Mary Carlson 23 July, 2007 at 7:44 pm #

    Liza – I would pretty much repeat what everyone has already said. Like my parents and my MIL your FIL no longer had to suffer. Cancer is still such a nasty disease. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Birdfreak 24 July, 2007 at 8:25 am #

    Very sorry to hear about your loss… cancer truly is an evil disease and something nobody should have to endure…

  8. mon@rch 25 July, 2007 at 5:42 am #

    So sad and I am very sorry to hear about your loss!

  9. robin andrea 25 July, 2007 at 6:39 am #

    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your family is managing through this. Your father in law sounded like a very brave and good man. You have my sympathies.

  10. Susan Gets Native 25 July, 2007 at 10:22 am #

    Liza and family:
    Wishing you peace and understanding.

    {{}} Hugs.

  11. Tara Dharma 27 July, 2007 at 1:27 pm #

    beautifully told and very touching. we should all be so lucky to die this way.

  12. BEG 31 July, 2007 at 8:04 am #

    I am so sorry to hear this. I’m glad to hear that you all got to say goodbye, though.

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