It’s ludicrous really. I’m extremely happy — but still can’t talk about all the details as everything is still in the works and therefore still fragile. But, I have faith that it will all workout. My kids are home for a week with my parents in the mountains with hikes and fun adventures. They had a blast. I’m both crazy busy getting ready That Which Shall Not Be Named and trying very hard to keep my head about everything, approach it all in a careful and considered way and maintain my family and priorities but it’s difficult. My poor husband is in the middle of a huge job that is overshadowing all his other jobs and makes his life stressful (there are times when working at home makes life harder and this is one of them). He is also trying to keep some semblance of balance in his life (tonight, we went to a movie with the kids). Both of us have jobs that would like to take over Life but we try to keep them at bay to some degree. Having kids REALLY helps with that effort — they really complain when you stop feeding them or taking them to movies!
Today, though, it all caught up to me. I said the right thing to the right person at TOTALLY the wrong time and she acted on it — in all innocence and I actually jeopardized That Which Shall Not Be Named. We all make mistakes — I know that, I try to teach kids that, and I try to live it. The mistakes aren’t as important as how you handle them afterward. So, I contacted the people involved, fessed up, apologized and acknowledged that my actions were unprofessional.
And, I’m left with this burning embarrassment — my cheeks are literally burning as I write this. It was such a stupid mistake and so easily avoided. But, I let excitement, busy-ness, and lack of focus get in the way of something extremely important to me. I needed to wait patiently and I couldn’t quite do that. Mostly, I acted in a hurried and un-mindful manner — pretty much doing what I’ve been working HARD to avoid doing for a week. Sometimes you have to learn your lessons the hard way. Today was one of those days.
Sigh. Thankfully, I am going off on an errand with my mother-in-law tomorrow. We are going to buy some very large pots for my backyard in a town about 3 hours away. It’ll be very fun and very nice to get away with her. And, it’ll give me that distance I need to get these rosy cheeks under control before I see the folks involved again. Breathing space is a good thing.