I slept through Christmas

Around 5am on Christmas morning, I awoke and knew something was wrong.  Terribly, awfully wrong.  With my stomach.  Not a good feeling.  Some sort of nasty bug had gotten a hold of me and I was very sick.  Stay in bed, near the bathroom sick.  Merry Christmas, ho ho ho.

I felt a little bit better around 7am when I got up and — believe it or not — had to WAKE UP MY CHILDREN!  We kept them up until after 10 the night before so they were pooped!  I walked up the hallway ringing jingle bells and they got up quickly enough.  I planted myself on the couch and watched them open their Santa presents!  Santa brought Ruthie an iDog Amp’d which is a silly little dog that hooks up to her iPod Shuffle, plays her tunes, does a light show, and taps it’s little foot to the music.  She was in 9 year old heaven!  Gage got a very cool RC helicopter.  Greg will help him figure it out later today.  It looks to be a nearly 8 year old boy’s dream come true as well.

Then they opened their gifts from us.  This was what it was all about . . . we were hoping for a “Santa Who?” kind of reaction and we got it.  We got them both Nintendo DS systems.  Over the moon excitement and joy didn’t begin to cover it.  They were thrilled!

After the gift opening, we had to hustle over to my mother-in-law’s to see my nephews before they hopped a plane to Texas to be with their dad and his family.  So, we hurried to get dressed.  I quickly realized that my feeling better was a brief thing that had no bearing on the reality of my enjoying Christmas.  Putting on a pair of pants proved to exhaust me and I simply got back into my jammies and into bed.  The idea of walking into a house filled with the smells of cooking food and greeting people and being pleasant was too much for me.  Greg came looking for me as the car was being loaded and realized I was done.  I gave him quick instructions on gift distribution and they took off without me.

It should give you a measure of how ill I was that I didn’t even weep a single tear at the thought of missing Christmas.  I was done and the only place I could be was bed.  So, I slept.  And slept.  And slept  Ruby didn’t even realize I was home until I got up and went to the bathroom.  Poor me.  I woke up at about 11 when the phone rang — Greg was checking on me.  I reported that bed was the only place for me and went back to sleep.

At around noon, I woke up and thought, “Oh, I feel better.”  So, I got up, had some water, and still felt better.  So, I had some 7up on ice and felt better still.  I called Greg and said, “Come get me.  I think I can do this thing now.”  He came over and got me.  We picked up some Immodium AD at the drugstore on the way to my mother-in-law’s.  I was able to be upright for the next couple of hours and participate in gift opening and all that good stuff.

My kids opening gifts at Gramma’s.

 

Two of a kind.  Matt is a great cook and always seems to get cooking stuff from us.  He got an amazing set of Silicon cooking stuff.  He thought that the bowls would make great hats.  Gage ended up wearing about 10 of them on his head.  I didn’t get the shot because I was fading again.

My sister-in-law was also feeling like shit.  That’s when I knew for sure that it was a bug and not some food poisoning.  The two of us spent the rest of the day sleeping and mildly participating in Christmas but basically, we missed the whole deal.  I took a long nap after the gift opening while everyone else made dinner.

I woke up during the meal — which is a feast like you can’t imagine — and had one small yorkshire pudding.  I could tolerate the smell of the food but not much else.  I had some ice water with it.  And, all was well, so I went back to sleep.   My brother-in-law massaged my feet after dinner which earned him my undying gratitude and an offer to bear his children.  My sister told me to “back off.”  Hilarity ensued.

After dinner, we opened our stockings and then everyone was done — the rest of the crowd was done because of eating so much.  Jennifer and I were done because we were feeling horrible and hadn’t eaten.  We packed up gifts and food.  We rounded up the cranky children.  We loaded the car.   — and when I say “we” I mean my mother-in-law and my darling husband not my sorry self.  And, we went home.

 I planted my butt on the couch with a 7up and watched TV.  Later, I felt well enough to contemplate some turkey.  I had 5 tiny bites of turkey.  It was delicious — manna from heaven.  Later, I had some gingersnaps.  We watched the Christmas edition of Deal or No Deal.  I went to bed.

Thankfully, I felt much, much better when I woke up.  Human even.  Now, I have to go play with my son on his DS.  I told him I would play this morning — it’s 11:53.  I’m cutting it close.

I hope ALL of you had a better Christmas than I did.

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