What am I doing wrong?

Ever since I was a child, I have known that there was a grown-up way to speak and that it included liberal use of swear words.  As a child, I spake as a child and did not start using swear words — around grown-ups — until I was given permission by my parents.  Hey, I was a good kid that way.  But, since then, swearing is something I am quite comfortable doing.  Oh sure, I keep it to a minimum in certain situations — I don’t, for example, swear much around my children.  I don’t swear at all around students at school.  I know it has its limitations. But when I’m with my friends, my husband, alone . . . I swear.  I swear, I swear!

As a writer, I was taught to write with multiple voices.  My personal writing is like my own voice.  My more formal writing is just that: more formal.  That said, when I used to make my living as a technical writer at Stanford, I was never asked to please make my writing less formal — even my formal voice is relatively personal and approachable.  The Queen of Jargon, I was not and am not.

Still, I am surprised that my blogging voice is so . . . safe.  Look at these ratings:

But here,  with you kind people, here, I speak plain English with a minimum of swearing.  One of these sites mentioned that the only bad word I’d used was “poop.”   I don’t know if there is even hope for me.  I guess my English teachers who taught me to write in a formal, yet straightforward way would be pleased.  I just never thought that my personal voice was a personal voice that was speaking to little kids . . . did I steal Mr Rogers’ voice?

Oh, woe is me.