Memoir Monday: Daddy

26 May

Dad in Air Force flight suit

My father died in 1976 when I was 12 years old. I have felt his loss everyday since that day. My father was in the Air Force. For me, this meant that we moved a lot and also that he wasn’t around a lot of the time. My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade. After that, there were new reasons that I didn’t see him — we moved, he moved. Life is complicated.

My sister and I spent 9 months living with my dad and his new wife the year before he died. I’m so grateful for that time. My few memories of my father are from that time. My life has been colored by the loss of my father although I was (am) blessed with a wonderful stepfather. Still, thinking about my father leaves me jumping into huge piles of “what if.”

Daddy and Me

Memoir Mondays is hosted by Two Writing Teachers.

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13 Responses to “Memoir Monday: Daddy”

  1. Pam 26 May, 2008 at 6:56 am #

    Wow, 12 years old, that has got to be hard to have lost him so young. This whole death thing stinks, doesn’t it?

  2. robin andrea 26 May, 2008 at 7:02 am #

    That photo of him holding and hugging you is so full of love. It’s very beautiful and very touching.

  3. Stacey 26 May, 2008 at 7:48 am #

    I’m sitting here with a lump in my throat. I’m so sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age. So unfair.

  4. Kevin 26 May, 2008 at 7:54 am #

    Life is complicated. So true.
    You must have to dig back deep to get to the father you knew and then had drift away.
    Why is this such a familiar story to people?
    It makes me sad, too.

    Peace,
    Kevin

  5. debrennersmith 26 May, 2008 at 12:40 pm #

    Thank you for sharing the memory of your dad. Those 9 months burned memories of ordinary living and love into heart. So sad. Life is hard.
    http://www.debrennersmith.com

  6. Lynne 26 May, 2008 at 12:43 pm #

    Very touching Liza. That last photo brought a lump to my throat.

  7. Bobbie 26 May, 2008 at 12:44 pm #

    I can relate to this on more than one level. My parents divorced when I was 7. And my husband died when our youngest was 6. But Robin is right – that photo is a treasure. You know that your father loved you, and memories live forever. I will be thinking of you this Memorial Day.

  8. Bonnie 26 May, 2008 at 1:21 pm #

    Liza,
    As I read your memoir, I feel so far away from how hard life can be for kids, for you and I’m glad that you can share this experience with this community. The pictures just made it that much more real.
    Thanks so much,
    Bonnie

  9. girlgriot 26 May, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    I can’t imagine losing your dad at such a young age. I was more than twice that age when I lost my father, and it still seemed much too soon. The photos you shared are lovely, the ‘hug’ photo brought tears to my eyes. I’m glad you had that short but special time when you and your sister were able to live with your dad. What a lucky turn of events.
    –Stacie

  10. Liza Lee Miller 26 May, 2008 at 8:41 pm #

    I’m amazed and touched by the response to my memoir today. I was home with a sick child, trying to put my kitchen back together, and not wanting to blow off a week-old commitment. So, I quickly wrote about my father. Sometimes writing from the heart and not spending time editing and revising can result in writing that really touches people. Thank you all for your comments! Cheers -llm.

  11. Miz S 27 May, 2008 at 1:54 am #

    Like everyone else, I love that last photo.

    Did he have any kids with his new wife? Did she stay in touch with you and your sister?

  12. jayne 27 May, 2008 at 2:34 am #

    I can’t imagine losing my dad at that age either Liza. I am glad you got to have time with him at an age where you could remember things about him. A lovely tribute.

  13. Mary 27 May, 2008 at 6:56 am #

    Through it all, he loved you, as shown in that photo. Very touching, Liza. He’d like this.

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